Live report: Turbonegro @ House of Blues 12/19/04
The day I found out that the mighty Turbonegro were returning to our shores, I knew there was no way I was going to miss their spectacle this time around. I had made a promise to several people (most of whom were involved with the Turbojugend) that I would not miss this for the world. The day the tickets went on sale, I was selling my soul to Ticketmaster and its ridiculous fees.
For three long months, the tickets sat on my printer and taunted me.
Then, the day finally came. On Dec. 19th, I got ready for some darkness.
The drive to Hollywood from our neck of the woods wasn't that bad for a Sunday. It took only 45 minutes but that was enough time to come up with a plan. My brother and I found some decent parking and experienced the Sunset Strip before heading towards the House of Blues.
I won't get into details about what happened to me before the show but I'll say one thing: full metal wand searches and a "no camera" policy are not cool.
After the airport-level search at the door, we made our way inside. It was a good mix of jugend members and people just there for a good time. If I remember correctly, there were some members who came from as far as Boston and Baltimore for both nights. I think I saw Scott Ian from Anthrax but I'm not too sure. Anyhoo, once the crowd settled in, the first band opened up.
What can I say about Van Stone? They're from Palmdale, CA (a fact that was beat into the audiences heads through delightful little in-between song banter) and they're like a cock-rock redux band but fun. Their songs were hilarious, ranging in topics from the incident with a MILF and some after-show action ("$25 Blow Job".) Their stage presence was magnified by these ridiculous costumes that were a throwback to the old heavy metal days. Don't even get me started on their guitars. Shaped like axes and other types of sharp weaponry (one guy even had a mace swinging from the neck of his guitar). If the audience couldn't get the joke, they weren't a sharp as the band. A lot of tongue-in-cheek behavior with some good sounds and songs. They even played a couple of Black Flag songs ("Wasted" and "Six Pack"). The highlight of their set had to be the giant prosthetic penis that sprayed liquid on the crowd.
After a bit, Mondo Generator came on. I've heard of them but never actually had gotten my hands on any of their stuff. This is the side project of exiled Queens of the Stone Age bassist Nick Oliveri. He tore through what seemed to be a good ten or so songs that were ferocious and tender at the same time. Lots of good rock that had the heads of the kids and even the jaded punk rockers nodding along with. I was pretty impressed and his voice sounded great.
Then, the mass of humanity got themselves ready for some deathpunk. I, much like a good number of people, were anxious to see them play. They were like an early Christmas present that I couldn't wait to tear open. After 11 p.m., we got our presents.
The screen rolls up and the crowd lets up this big cheer. The stage goes dark and the curtains roll back. "The Blizzard of Flames" begins and the crowd goes NUTS. One by one, the mensch come out from the side and prepared to dazzle. When Happy-Tom came out, he was wearing a sailor suit. That got the crowd really amped. After the intro, the band broke into "Wipe It 'Til It Bleeds" and out comes Hank von Helvete. Hank looked great: he had slimmed down considerably and wore this great white furry cape thing with this weird bondage-strap-esque thing over his torso that I couldn't help but be reminded of Lord Humongous from Mad Max. For 15 songs, Hank gyrated, shook, danced and sweated on stage like a man brought back from the dead. The crowd was really awesome in making the show a great one. They sang along and surfed and were really into it. Their fists and arms pumped in the air for emphasis during choruses and other sing along parts of the songs. The Doctor and I sang to every song we could and pumped our fists in the air until both were sore. At one point, Tom threw his sailor cap out to the crowd and some lucky bastard got his sweaty cap.
Hank's in-between song banter was great. At one point, he drank some water and tossed it at the crowd. He also spat beer at them but that was cool. The band looked great. Tom in his sailor suit. Chris Summers looking all gangster in his denim and bandanna beating the hell out of his drums. Guitarist Euroboy channeling the ghost of Johnny Thunders in his hat. Rhythm guitarist Rune Rebellion looking like he just came from the prom in his blue ruffled shirt, bowtie, top hat and blue velvet suit. And then there was Pål Pot Pamparius.
Pål came out in his usual garb but without his scarf. He also shook the hell out of his tambourine and played the piano and guitar with unmatched fury. He also blew kisses to the crowd and stumbled around drunkenly on stage. At one point, he handed the mic to some dude to sing into. He pranced on stage with his fingers to his lips like he was awaiting an anxious lover or sucked his thumb. He got real close to Hank at one point and then went back to his mic. He shook his hair, he screamed and sang, Pål did it all.
Euroboy made lots of suggestive movements and winked at the crowd. At one point, during "Prince of the Rodeo", he stopped playing and egged on the audience to give him more. He stood at the edge of the stage with his arms akimbo until he got the result he wanted. He also got carried by the crowd for a solo.
After the last song, they left the stage and the crowd started singing the chorus to "I Got Erection". They came back for the encore and Hank came out in a Santa suit. He starts talking about how excited we get when we receive our Christmas presents and how we want to take it to bed with us. He then joked about how they were our Christmas presents and asked how many of us wanted to take them to bed. The crowd roared at that part. He also dedicated one of the new songs off the upcoming "Babylon Forever" album to the girls (It was called "Blow Me (Like the Wind)".) They played three new songs and amused us with some classics, such as "Self-Destructo Bust", "Denim Demon" and "Get It On".
After the encore, the show finished and the band left the stage. Pål grabbed a bottle of champagne that he spent the entire set nursing and drank some. He then threw some on the crowd, poured some more all over himself and then spat out some more to the crowd.
The show was over but the memories of the men of Turbonegro will be burned into our memories, along with the numerous people we met that were kind enough to talk to us. We took that uphill walk and headed back to the car around 20 after midnight with our sailor caps on and the songs in our hearts. I also wanted to dry-heave all over the street for some reason. I had this incredible urge to vomit everywhere. All that walking didn't help the day after because we were both sore leg- and throat-wise. We also got lost on the way back to the freeway but that's another story. The new songs were awesome and Turbo was awesome.
Here's the set list (as written on the back of a Jim Beam ad):
The Blizzard of Flames
Wipe It 'Til It Bleeds
Self-Destructo Bust
Back To Dungaree High
All My Friends Are Dead*
Sell Your Body (To The Night)
Ride With Us
Denim Demon
Are You Ready (for Some Darkness)
Wasted Again*
Get It On
Fuck The World
Prince of the Rodeo (dedicated to Euroboy, who turned 30 on the 17th and was dubbed Euroman by Hank)
---------
The Age of Pamparius
Blow Me (Like the Wind)*
I Got Erection
(new songs denoted by *)
All in all, it was the perfect ending to a pretty awesome night. It was also a great way to close out the year. We opened the year with Randy at Alex's Bar and closed it out with Turbo at the House of Blues. Needless to say, I'm looking forward to seeing them live again.
---------------
Navy Keophan is a freelance writer from Long Beach. She's allergic to watermelon, of all things. Drop her a line here.